Friday, January 25, 2008

Sweet Sleep


Found this Ben Lee CD cover and it just seemed to fit my current work schedule...

I've also been pondering this scripture:

In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat—for he grants sleep to those he loves. ~ Psalm 127:2 (NIV)

Not sure how it relates, but I do know He loves me, even if I'm not getting as much sleep as I normally do.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

High Anxiety



Things get pretty crazy at work this time of year. I’m a writer in a marketing department at a catalog company, and our annual resource book of spa products is unveiled as the trade show season begins at the end of February. So the almost 500-page catalog has to be finalized and printed by then.

I can’t even begin to explain the process for publishing a catalog of that size, but trust me – it can be brutal from November through January. I jokingly say everyone is allowed one breakdown at some point during that time frame, but no two are permitted at the same time!

And that’s just work. If you factor in the rest of life, insanity can ensue. I think I’m a fairly laid-back person most of the time. But everyone has to find a way to deal with everyday anxiety.

A few months ago I had a full-blow anxiety attack at work (and it wasn’t even catalog season). Long story short, I arrived at work to find an urgent job request I had to deal with immediately – no time for coffee or email! Then, out of the blue, my heartbeat and breathing got out of whack. I tried deep, measured breathing (recalled from Lamaze classes 20 years ago), but it was no good. I couldn’t get myself back on track. If I hadn’t read about anxiety attacks, I would have thought I was having a heart attack. But I had read about this, and all of my symptoms were classic.

So what did I do? I worked through it. After all, I had a job request to fill. Besides, I didn’t want to cause a fuss, because I’m a “fixer,” not the one who needs fixing. And I couldn’t have people hovering over me to make sure I didn’t drop dead while I was trying to do my work; that would just be distracting.

Eventually (about an hour later) I finished the task, my heart rate and breathing settled down, and I determined that I was not going to keel over in my cubicle after all. I haven’t had another attack since, and I pray I don’t. But just in case, I am claiming this scripture:

“Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” ~ Philippians 4:5-7 (NIV)

By the way, the photo above is of my son Ben (on the right, and now age 20) and his friend Alex (on the left) years ago, at Alex’s birthday party. Alex is at James Madison University now, and Ben’s at Appalachian State. I think Alex was just chilled in this picture, but he sure appears anxiety-ridden, doesn’t he? Ben, on the other hand, seems totally relaxed, with his safety vest and goggles. For the record, I want to be like Ben looked that day – wrapped in the life-saving vest of Jesus and viewing life through His eyes.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Getting Greedy

Have you ever watched the TV show, Deal or No Deal? I have, but I don’t watch it often, because it makes me too sad. Most people say it’s all about luck, but I say it’s a show about greed, plain and simple. I’ve watched too many people walk away with little more than they came with to believe otherwise. Recently, I witnessed a woman who is a pig farmer say “No deal!” to Howie Mandel, the nefarious “banker,” and over $200,000, and ultimately leave the show with exactly one penny more than she had when she started. And even sadder than that, her husband, father, and a couple of other close “advisors,” urged her to keep going, even after the game had turned and her winnings were quickly disappearing into thin air.

I think all of these contestants (and their consultants) truly believe they will be the million dollar winner. Why? Because they deserve it! Any why is that? Well, why not them? They’re as deserving as anyone else, right?

TV isn’t the only place I’ve seen greed in action, of course. I’ve seen people bitter over the fact that they received bonuses that weren’t as large as some of their co-workers’. It was like seeing Jesus’ parable about the vineyard workers who were paid equally come to life (Matthew 20:1-16). Never mind that these unexpected bonuses were gifts. Much like grace, they were totally unmerited, but sadly, in some cases, also unappreciated.

Adults aren’t the only greedy ones. I’ve watched children carefully tally up Christmas presents, either by number or value, and end up bitterly disappointed because, as they perceive it, they didn’t get as much as others. I just ache for these kids, because I can’t see how they can ever be satisfied with what they have.

And that’s the trick, isn’t it? At least, that’s what I’ve heard people say…it’s not about having what you want, but wanting what you have. The apostle Paul, in particular, had a lot to say about contentment. Here’s just one example from his letter to the Philippians:

“I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” ~ Philippians 4:11-13 (NIV)

The same “secret” is revealed in Hebrews 13:5:

“Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, 'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.'”

Counting on God to satisfy my needs–from the physical to the yearning for contentment–makes a lot more sense to me than the current bestselling Secret to life, which is to simply visualize your life the way you want it and...*poof*....so it will be.

Please understand–I'm not immune to getting greedy. In fact, by the time I find myself up to my neck in discontentment, I’m usually amazed by how fast it happened and how I never saw it coming. But if I stop and consider, I’m never surprised to realize that somewhere along the way I stopped counting on God and started being my own source of contentment…and that never turns out well.

If I were a girl who made resolutions for the New Year, there would be a good one somewhere in all of this…maybe something like this: To be content in my relationship with God, and trust Him to provide exactly what I need every day, just like manna from heaven.

Saturday, January 5, 2008

Auld Lang Syne


"Auld Lang Syne" means "times gone by," perfect for this old photo I dug up on the Found website. I know I'm a few days late, but it was just too good to pass up. It was the "Find of the Day" on December 26th, 2004. Apparently, "Allyson" found it while cleaning underneath the bench seat of a Volkswagen Vanagon her dad had recently purchased.

Hope your New Year has been picture perfect so far.